We are two couples: Lisanne and Andreas in Norway and Heide and Esa in Finland, who are on a quest to develop a structured program for a more fulfilling and balanced relationship experience for everyone.
Heide
As a German psychologist, a solution-focused relationship coach, and a relaxation therapist, I guide my clients on their journey to a purpose-driven professional life, while cultivating satisfying professional and private relationships on their way and establishing a healthy life that embraces self-care and personal growth.
See also my company 2 Kind Minds.
Esa
As a freelance IT consultant in Finland, I am working with local and global clients across various project types and sizes. Drawing upon this comprehensive background, I offer my expertise as a technical advisor in IT matters.
Lisanne
As a mindfulness-based NeuroCoach, an Encounter-centered Couple’s Transformation (EcCT) Coach, and a trauma therapist I help my clients to get to the essence of their challenges to be able to transform from surviving to thriving.
See also my company Lowise.
Andreas
As a professor of information and communication system technology, a life coach, and a mentor of students and leaders, I support individuals and groups in their quest for more knowledge, success and happiness, combining hard technological knowledge with teaching experience and soft relationship skills.
You.Me.Synergy
As a group, we work on helping couples to build the relationship as a collaborative project.
Imagine your relationship as a vehicle, not just any vehicle, but one perfectly crafted for your unique journey together. Unlike a car or a house, this vehicle is something entirely different from the sum of its parts, even though those parts – you and your partner – are vital to its existence.
Before you start hammering and sawing, however, a crucial conversation needs to take place. Just like building a real vehicle, constructing a fulfilling relationship begins with shared vision. What do you want this metaphorical vehicle to be? A sleek speedboat, cutting through the waves of excitement and adventure? Or perhaps a sturdy campervan, designed for long, meandering journeys of exploration and self-discovery? The destination might be the same – a life shared and enjoyed – but the route and the experience will be vastly different.
Mismatched desires can spell trouble in this initial stage. One partner dreaming of a high-octane speedboat while the other envisions a cozy campervan will lead to confusion and frustration. Align your visions, discuss your needs and aspirations, and reach a shared understanding of what your relationship vehicle will look like. This shared vision becomes the blueprint for your journey together.
Now, with a clear vision in mind, it’s time to get your hands dirty (metaphorically, of course!). Building a vehicle, be it real or metaphorical, requires the right tools. In the realm of relationships, these tools aren’t wrenches and screwdrivers, but rather communication, compromise, and understanding. They come in different sets, each set tackling specific challenges.
Communication, for example, is a toolbox in itself. The screwdriver of honest and open dialogue, the hammer of assertive yet respectful expression, and the wrench of active listening are all essential for navigating disagreements and building trust. Similarly, compromise is a toolbox filled with the pliers of flexibility, the saw of letting go of unnecessary expectations, and the level of fairness to ensure both partners feel valued and respected.
Using the wrong tools or neglecting some altogether will undoubtedly lead to subpar results. Imagine trying to build a campervan with just a hammer – sure, you might put some planks together, but it will lack the comfort, functionality, and overall appeal of a well-equipped project. Just like learning to use different tools within a set, mastering one communication skill can often translate to others. An honest conversation fosters trust, which in turn facilitates healthy compromise, and so the cycle continues.
But remember, you’re not alone in this project. Your partner also brings their own toolbox filled with unique skills and experiences. Don’t shy away from utilizing their strengths – the saw of their forgiveness, the screwdriver of their empathy, or the wrench of their unwavering support. Building a strong and fulfilling relationship is a collaborative effort, where each partner’s contribution helps shape the final masterpiece.
Remember, just like a real vehicle, your relationship vehicle is never truly finished. New tools might be discovered along the way, adjustments will be needed to navigate unforeseen terrain, and occasional repairs are inevitable. But as long as you share a clear vision, utilize the right tools, and work together with love and understanding, your relationship vehicle will become a source of joy, adventure, and unwavering support on your journey through life.